Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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