i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
