I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
