I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I supernannyed him into submission
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
