You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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