how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
