He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
