He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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