i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize