i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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