i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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