we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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