Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
