She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
