It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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