physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
