Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
