Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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