Can Purell be used as lube?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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