Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
