i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
