Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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