cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My dick has a subreddit
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
