I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
