I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
