Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
