They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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