How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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