i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
