Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
did i just pee glitter
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
