I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
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I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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