Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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