Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
