What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
