PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
