At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
