that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
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He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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