Non-Jews are for practice
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize