Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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