The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
