She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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