Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
