so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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