Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dear god my vagina.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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