i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
