I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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