at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
