My nipple is on Facebook.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
and she was petting her beer can
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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