dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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