I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
