The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
