sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
