I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
