you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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