I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
