wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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