Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
