I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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