I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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