During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
