come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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