Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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