Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
