the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
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SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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