so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Your cock deserves a montage
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
