When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
