One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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